Friday, November 25, 2016

Between Friends

- Do you know why they play so little cards in Scotland?
- No...
- No one wants to deal...

Have a nice weekend everyone :-)

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Good Question About Hotels and Mini-Bars

Why are there bibles in hotel rooms, when there are no mini-bars in churches?

Have a nice weekend everyone. :-)

Friday, October 14, 2016

The Lawyer to the Widow

The lawyer had just read the will of the late millionaire.
The widow asked whether he had misread the will, and the lawyer replies: "No, I didn't misread his will. He gave his fortune to the hospital, and his brain to you."

Have a nice weekend. :-)

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

The Length of the Honeymoon

The boss was talking to his employee before his wedding, and was curious about the length of vacation he needed for his honeymoon. He starts by asking: "Now that you are getting married, how long do you plan on being away for the honeymoon?"
The employee answers: "Well, how long would you suggest?"
The boss answers: "I can't say. I haven't seen the bride!"

:-)

Friday, September 30, 2016

Between Friends

- You must remember what you give away, because it is said it comes back double.
- It's true. Last year, I gave my daughter away, and now both she and her husband live at our place...

Have a nice weekend everyone. :-)

Friday, September 16, 2016

Three Men In a Bar

A Frenchman, an American and a Russian are enjoying a beer in a bar after a meeting between their countries.

The American suddenly says, with a proud voice: "If all our airplanes were flying, the skies would be pitch dark." The Russian says: "Oh yes, and you could walk from ship to ship from Russia to Alaska if we aligned them in a straight line."
The Frenchman isn't impressed with this, and says: "Well, I have a friend, Marc, who has a dick measuring 15" who lives in Paris."

The American and the Russian do realize they may have exaggerated, so they agree, that you might have to jump from ship to ship - and that there might be rays of sun passing - not entirely dark.
The Frenchman says: "Sorry, guys, now I remember, Marc lives just outside the city of Paris."

Have a nice weekend everyone. :-)

Monday, September 5, 2016

Preparations for Bar Mitzvah

The rabbi was preparing the kids for bar and bat mitzvah, and asked the girls: - Who was the first man?
One girl blushed, and said: - If the rabbi doesn't mind, I would rather not talk about it...

:-)

Friday, August 26, 2016

Some Things Are Not Healthy...

Two friends are discussing health. One of them has begun a better diet, and suddenly, the subject is on drinking juice.
Nicole: I prefer juice that has residue from oranges, so you know where it's coming from...
Angelina: Well, as long as I don't get minced meat in my milk, I'll be fine!

Have a nice weekend everyone. :-)

Friday, July 29, 2016

Fun Video With Achmed - The Dead Terrorist

I simply must share this video with you. I discovered it yesterday when I saw some other videos in my timeline on YouTube, and this one is great:



Have a nice weekend everyone. :-)

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Watch the Language, Young Man

A mother was preparing dinner in the kitchen, and could hear her son playing with trains in the living room. She noticed the train stopped, and her son said: "All you lazy SOBs who need to get off better hurry, and to all the idiots who are getting on board: get your asses moving. We need to move on."

She was shocked, and hurried into the living room and said: "We don't use that type of language in this home. As a punishment, you can go to your room for an hour. You can then play with your trains when you can speak decently!"

An hour later, the boy is playing with his train again. The train stops, and she hears her son say: "To all passengers leaving us, I want to thank you for travelling with us, and please do remember all your luggage. We hope you have had a pleasant trup." She heard her son continue: "To our new travellers I want to wish you welcome on board. We shall do our best to ensure you have a pleasant journey. Please find your seats before we take off."

The mother smiled with pride, when she suddenly heard the boy continue: "And if any of you assholes are disappointed that we are delayed an hour, you can go talk with the fat lady in the kitchen!"